keep on truckin'

Every time I feel too stressed to move and I think about things I can change in my life to help that, I come across someone's blog or have a meeting or see a friend that reminds me of this and exactly why I'm working so hard. I truly believe that this stuff will help to create a better world.

drowning

It's the second day of classes in my last semester of college. I am swamped and already struggling to find time to get everything done.

All I can think about is AIESEC... RETREAT... SALAAM... RECRUITMENT... MARKETING... ARTICLES... PRESS ADVISORIES... INTERVIEWS...

My head is spinning.

"Make it legendary..."

...said one AIESECer earlier today, referring to the first-ever weekend-long retreat for Madison's LC. I'm about to head out with the awesome OC to Mukwonago for the weekend. High expectations await us, but I have faith that the coupling of extensive preparation and in-the-moment adaptation will, in fact, allow us to make it a memorable occasion, if not a legendary one. :)

snow

Today, the sense of impending change is palpable.

Friends are evolving, not knowing when they'll reunite; attitudes are shifting to create room for compassion and cushion the blow of reality; faith is being restored to some who have doubted their path; redemption and forgiveness are being achieved through discussion and the opening of new horizons; concrete commitments are being created, revealing the relevance and meaning behind all these actions.


Or maybe it's just the snow...

unexpected results

Sometimes you try something new and it works out. Sometime you try something new and it just doesn't happen. Other times one thing just bombs and zero connection is made and the next thing you know you've been taken by surprise by something completely different. And it all turns out for the best anyway.

Just shows that you can't plan everything... and sometimes the things you didn't even know were coming turn out better than you could have planned, anyway.

recipes and not using them

Had dinner with dad at the Tornado Club last night for his birthday... the steaks were delicious and the discussion wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. It's clear my parents have been thinking about our last discussion and how committed I am to AIESEC. My dad expressed interest in the group and asked for websites so he could check it out himself and when I talked with my mom on the phone earlier in the day, she told me that she wanted to talk more about the issue and sounded a bit apologetic. It is beginning to seem like my so-called "unplanned" approach to life may be accepted by the two that want me to plan everything. I'm expecting dinner at Muramoto tonight to have a conciliatory undertone.

On another note... where is everyone? People - especially the two Bucky's Angels that have been conspicuously absent from my life for the past month - need to return to Madison as soon as possible... Utah? Argentina? Bah!

P.S. Made cranberry muffins from scratch this morning... delicious! I know you're supposed to stick to the recipe when baking, but it seems that the goods are just as good when there is no recipe to speak of! :)

The funny thing about support...

...is that when I ask for it from my parents and don't get it, I usually stop pursuing whatever it is I was doing. This time, there's no way I'm stopping. Their lack of support may push me to do even more, just to prove them wrong.

in other news...

... I have my heart set on going to Morocco for an international conference in the weeks before Spring Break (with my favorite AIESEC travel buddy), and I'm trying desperately to find a way to convince my parents that it will warrant a week or two off of school. I'm going to dinner with them tonight and will break the news then.

It doesn't help that my mom thinks AIESEC is taking time away from "my studies" and that I need to reduce my commitment... exactly the opposite of what I plan on doing. All that means is that I have to start paying for my own travel, so I can go where I want when I want.

Goal: Get to at least one international conference this semester. With or without my parents' support.

impactlicious

I just changed my blog to include more than just the experiences that helped me to find myself in Washington. I felt the need to express the results of a recent week-long, life-changing experience.

Never having attended an AIESEC national conference, I wasn't sure what to expect from WSC 2007. The amazing parties, strategy sessions and bonding was expected - and the expectations were exceeded dramatically - but I was hoping that I would have the chance to further develop myself as a leader, as a member of @ and as a compassionate individual. That goal was successfully achieved and I feel that I contributed to the development of other attendees as well.

I wanted to learn on a deeper level: why i feel certain responses to others' actions, why others say the things they do; how people interact with each other and how that contributes to both their goals; what inputs elicit responses from those who have no previous contact with the subject; what types of accomplishments lead to pushing an individual further than what they ever believed themselves to be capable.

I saw different sides to people that I never really had tried to get to know. Through silly rituals, offhand comments and lengthy conversations at the conference, I gained insight into the inner workings of the minds of my friends (and myself). I now understand how we work together and why our collaboration has made Madison one of the most significant and impactful chapters in the country. I feel honored to be part of the progressing changes we are achieving.

I was given more responsibility and I readily grasped it. I am proud that I was looked upon as an integral member of the group, and I am appreciative that that view was not based only on my past accomplishments, but also on my future potential. The attitude of others towards me at the conference helped to clarify my view of who I am on the most basic levels. It seems that I have retained a concept of myself that is characteristic of who I was from age 13 to age 18. The past three years have been a period of development, and I am seeing immediate, invaluable feedback of who I actually am at this point in time that I may not be able to see myself.

As for the mission of AIESEC US (not the official one(s), the one we feel on a day to day basis, the reason why we do the things we do and want to give everything to the world that we can), I have never felt more aligned. My purpose has been clarified and my commitment has been strengthened.

Allowing myself to undergo these changes has given me the ability to clarify other parts of my life as well. My mind has been made up on more than one question I was continually bringing up in my internal dialogue. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed and I understand why. I also understand that I cannot ensure my future months or years from now and that I need to be content in the present. Things will work out for the best, and sometimes they work out better when you aren't set on a particular path.

I am stronger, more focused and more determined that I can achieve the change to which I aspire and I have a venue though which to start. I am part of a community that cares, and it is powerful to see our collective potential. I am surrounded by individuals that feel compelled to action and each one is making a contribution simply by engaging in dialogue. I am evolving and, more than anything, it is the other members that are inspiring me to keep pushing myself.

And that is impactlicious.